Be Mine
by luckystar03
Summary: Fuji's thoughts on his relationship with Tezuka. Oneshot. Onesided FujixTezu. Pillar Pair. EDITED due to apparent songfic ban. no longer songfic, regular oneshot.


**A/N:** This is the second version of a previous oneshot I posted a couple days ago that used to be a songfic. I had been informed by a reviewer that songfics had actually been banned by FFN in 2005 (check FFN's wiki page if you don't believe me), before I signed up, and seeing as how there are still a bunch of songfics out there and continuously being written, I had no idea about this ban.

In any case, I'd like to actually adhere to the rules here, despite the fact that they haven't made a move to delete these songfics (about 40, 000 songfics on FFN if you search "songfic"). So, I have once again edited the oneshot and taken out all the lyrics.

The song I used previously is Be mine! By Robyn

* * *

Fuji Syuusuke, known throughout as the smiling tensai, stood there in the pouring rain, smiling no more. The tears flowed continuously down his face, masked by the rain that drenched him as he stared at the retreating back of his captain, his long time friend, Tezuka Kunimitsu.

No one was around; the courts and the school ground were empty, everyone having packed up and left already. He was glad for that. He thanked the gods for sparing him this little piece of his dignity, his pride. For now, no one was here to see the fake smile drop. No one was here to see the tensai, the one feared by all, break down and cry.

xXx

He remembered everything, from their first encounter, to their last conversation. He was mesmerized by him from the first moment he saw him and it just grew the more he got to know him. Every conversation, every word, every gesture was imprinted in his memory and now, the most significant thing he would remember would be Tezuka Kunimitsu's retreating form.

xXx

It had taken him a long time to realize his feelings for the other boy, and even longer time to come to terms with it and gather the courage to confess. However, by that time, his eyes were always set on another. First it was Atobe Keigo, that lasted a bit, but then it ended. You were too annoyed by his arrogance and egoist personality. I thought I finally had my chance after that, but another had caught your eye. It was the emperor himself, Sanada Genichirou. Again that ended, you were too similar yet to different. You had nothing in common. But it didn't matter, I waited and bided my time, I saw it in your eyes, it was just physical attraction that led you to them, nothing more. That's why they both ended. You couldn't build a relationship on physical attraction alone. But you never looked at me. Not once did your eyes turn to me.

You never saw me the way I wanted you to. I realized that a little after your tryst with Sanada ended. It was power that drew you in. The skill level in tennis that they possessed is what attracted you. You yearned for someone who could compete with you on the same level, with your all and their all. I could play against you and force you to play serious, but I could never win. I wish you would look at me the way you look at him now. I'd give anything if you'd just turn my way.

xXx

I always wondered, if I had said something what would have happened. Would you look at me the way you look at him, at the others? Would you have apologized and politely turn me down, like you did so many others. Would I have been another one on the list of those turned down by the Tezuka Kunimitsu. Or would we be together? Would it have been me that you looked at? Would it have stayed that way or would you have drifted the moment he showed up?

I look at you now as you pass by the gate, hands around his waist as you huddle together under the umbrella. You stop and turn to him as you hand him the umbrella and wrap the scarf I gave you for your birthday around him and kiss him lightly on the lips. You're happy, I can't ignore that and it's obvious to everyone. I'm glad that you're happy, that you've found someone you can love and be with wholly. But it hurts just the same that it's not me your with.

I can't hate him though. You were the one who chose him. He won fair and square without even doing anything except be himself. I haven't known him for as long as I've known you or the others, but he's become a precious friend all the same. As much as I tried not to, he became like another little brother for me to protect. He was the baby of our group that challenged everyone he came across and found resistance in many. We had all made a silent vow to protect him from those who may hurt him out of jealousy. I could never fault Echizen Ryoma for you loving him. I could never hurt him.

xXx

I realize now that we can never be. I can pray all I can, or manipulate as much as I want, but you will never be mine. For you exist in a world I can never reach. I come close to it, and can possibly touch the edges of it, but I can never exist in it. It's your world of greatness, your world where only the best and those that were born with great Tennis skills live. I finally noticed it, this aura that the both of you, along with your exes exude. This aura of difference, of importance, that you're different in skill level than us, that you're in a different class of your own. And this is where your future lies; within this world you found your one. I had always believed we were similar, that I could reach you, but now I know we are of two different worlds, separate places that never coincide. I can never be in it; I can only merely observe it from the outside. You never will be mine for you, Tezuka Kunimistu, will always belong to Echizen Ryoma.


End file.
